Good day great leaders I welcome you to another edition of the LEADERS CORNER, it is so good to hear from you again, and also wish you happy weekend. Today we would be looking at signs to show that you lack emotional intelligence, I have been there and am still working on mine so don’t get bothered this still happens to you, couple with the fact of things we face daily it might look like an hurdle one can’t overcome when it comes to emotional intelligence but the goodnews is that we can do it. ‘’Remember you can be anything you put your mind to’’.
So let us look briefly at five emotional intelligence traits you have been practicing and how to overcome them:
YOU GET STRESSED EASILY
Many of us are guilty of this, and are easily stressed by any Slightest tension or any activities that seems beyond our control and this unaddressed emotions strain the mind and the body. People who fail to use their emotional intelligence skills are more likely to turn to other,and this is a less effective means of managing their mood. They are twice as likely to experience anxiety, depression, substance abuse and even thoughts of suicide.
SOLUTION: When faced with stress, try and relax yourself and make the stress more manageable thereby enabling you to spot and tackle tough situations before things escalate.
YOU MAKE ASSUMPTIONS QUICKLY AND DEFEND THEM VEHEMENTLY
People who lack emotional intelligence form an opinion quickly and then succumb to confirmation bias, meaning they gather evidence that supports their opinion and ignore any evidence to the contrary. More often than not, they argue to make people support their views. This is especially dangerous for leaders, as their under-thought-ideas become the entire team’s strategy.
SOLUTION: Instead of making quick judgments and assumptions, weigh and ruminate on your thoughts and don’t let your reactions be driven by your emotions. You should give your thoughts time to develop and consider the possible consequences and counter-arguments. Then, you communicate your developed idea in the most effective way possible, taking into account the needs and opinions of their audience.
YOU HOLD GRUDGES
Many of us tends to hold on to grudges and this shows you are not emotionally intelligent and the negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding on to a grudge means you’re holding on to stress.
SOLUTION: Try as much as possible to do away with grudges, letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.
YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS
Many people that cant control their emotions or how to respond to things don’t know their triggers such as situations and people that push their buttons and thus making them to act impulsively.
SOLUTION: Study your triggers and use this knowledge to sidestep situations and people before they get the best of them.
YOU BLAME OTHER PEOPLE FOR HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL
So many are fond of blaming people for their outburst and actions, but would you continue to use people as an excuse of how and what you feel? So funny how many of us even accuse the devil of pushing us to do things, this injustice on the devil must stop. You are responsible for your happiness and your actions.
SOLUTION: No one can make you feel anything that you don’t want to. Thinking otherwise only holds you back . take responsibility for your actions this shows you are in charge of your life.
Am sure many of us have seen where we have been guilty and would want us to work on it that is why solutions has been provided, and I want to encourage you to practice this as it is a continuous process and might take time to get to the the level where we are emotionally stable and sound. This is a great trait a leader must acquire so please take a move and save yourself and your families, friends and followers of been emotionally down every time. Thanks for reading.
And always remember to make someone smile..it worth more than anything in the world.. Love you guys
Anticpate our new topic for next week….I won’t let the cat out of the bag. Wait for it
Till we meet again on leaders corner I remain OLUWATOBI OKE (pastorgoody)